The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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