i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
