is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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