sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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