Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
