So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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