My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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