So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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