she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
