pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
