That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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