I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
