Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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