So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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