So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
