bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
