Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
