I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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