im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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