I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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