is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize