he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize