yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She's the barista slut.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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