The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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