well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
