I just made out with a guy for $7.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
