I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
