He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
