ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
