My cat gives me a boner
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
