I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
