the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just invented taco cereal.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
