On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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