I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
