I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
