I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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