Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to calm my uterus...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
