Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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