Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
