That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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