i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
