dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
