Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
