where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
