Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
