It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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