why didn't you poke me back
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
