"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
