I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
