So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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