I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
it was like eating out sand paper
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
