you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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