Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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