Banned from zoo.
Again?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize