So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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