new low.... made out with someone while peeing
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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