Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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