So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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