so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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