good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
