eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
