i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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