I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
