after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
