please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We had sex on a dog bed..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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