Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
