he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
True strength comes from lack of pants
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
