Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
