Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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