just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
