marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
