last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
